CHILDREN OF THE HEAVENLY FATHER
“If anyone wishes to be first, he shall be the last of all and the servant of all.” Taking a child, he placed it in their midst, and putting his arms around it, he said to them, “Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me.”
Today’s Gospel offers an abundance to reflect upon for those of us who are married or aspire to be. We are first given the reminder that if we wish to be first, we must be a “servant of all.” What a necessary reminder to hus-bands and wives that true greatness is to be found in putting our spouse first.
Then mysteriously, Jesus brings a child forward, places His arms around him and tells the Apostles to receive this child as though he were Jesus Himself. In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus tells them that “the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” What is it about children that we are called to emulate? Could this also be true within our most intimate relationships, such as marriage? I thought I would offer a few suggestions as to why children are close to the heart of Jesus and ways being childlike can bless our friendships and marriages:
Children know they are loved, and they know they are lovable. They don’t second guess their parents’ love. They have full confi-dence that regardless of their behavior, they are inherently lovable. Unfortunately, as we grow and the hurts of life add up, a thick crust can grow on our hearts. To become more childlike, can we challenge ourselves to open our hearts once again to the Lord, and our spouse, to begin to trust in the truth of our lovableness? Can we strive to love our spouse the way God loves them inherently?
Children are transparent and vulnerable. They generally are who they are and don’t know how to pretend to be otherwise. They cry when they are sad, dance when they are happy, and lie on the floor and scream when frustrated. They readily admit their neediness because they trust their parents to give them what they need. While we adults need to restrain our passions a bit more, we can still ask: are we a trusted place for our spouse to be him or herself? Do we receive them as they are? Do we make the effort to be honest and sincere with our spouse, even when it’s uncomfortable?
Children have wonder and curiosity toward the world. Much of our society has lost this hopeful outlook. We tend to be cynical and jaded, and these are deadly traits in marriage. We need to strive to see in our spouse the fathomless mystery that they are. We need to approach him or her with wonder and curiosity and avoid harmful habits that cause us to lose sight of their true iden-tity. We are called by God to continually strive to see the best in our spouse and help bring that out.
God is the perfect Father, and we are His children. What a consolation it is to know that, even with our imperfections, He sees us, knows us, and loves us just as we are. He gives us the grace to love others because we have confidence in our own lovableness. He give us the courage to love with honesty and transparency because we know God sees us and still loves us with all our imperfections. He asks us to retain our sense of won-der and awe, approaching every person, but especially our spouse, as the profound mystery that they are.
~Elizabeth Brown, Marriage Formation Coordinator